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Lebanon, Missouri
5th of 13 in Open B
The first race of the year always gets me fired up, and sometimes clouds my sense of logic. The race
schedules come out and I circle the first date on the calendar and convince myself that I have to be there.
Racing in February? Last time I did that was Kahoka, Missouri in 1996. Frigid, biting wind, numb hands,
two inches of slop and frozen ground underneath...but that wasn't so bad, right? It's a new year and a new
location. Besides, Lebanon is in balmy southern Missouri, so it has to be warmer down there, right? And
the drive, well, the last time I was there in 1999 it sure seemed like a long way, but heck, it wasn't that far,
right? Oh, and the rocks, yes they were challenging, the dust was horrible and the heat nearly intolerable.
But it's a new year and a new racing season, so I packed up the truck with barely working fingers, drove to
Wentzville to pick up Matt, and headed down to the first round of the Missouri Hare Scrambles
Championship.
Lebanon is really just a point of reference for this race. The actual race site is over 20 miles from the town
and the last few miles of gravel road are painfully harsh, giving just a small flavor of what the trail will look
like. Thanks to a bunch of rain, the formerly grassy parking lot was a quagmire of slop that would have
made a hog farmer proud. Fortunately my 4WD guided me to the last patch of grass still intact, right next
the Leivan truck (I gotta get me one of those). The owner of the property was adequately prepared with a
John Deere tractor that was ready to go at the first sight of a two-wheel-drive vehicle attempting to spin
through the center of the mud bog.
The race turnout was larger than I had expected, considering the recent rains and the fact that we were
racing in February. While on the starting line I counted 13 in the Open B class. When the flag dropped, I
jumped out to a pretty good start and went into the first corner in about 4th or 5th before settling into
something resembling a rhythm. I had made an effort to get as much riding in as possible in the weeks
leading up to the race, and for the first time this year I didn't get a massive case of arm pump in the first
half-hour. The course didn't seem anything like the '99 race, but then the conditions were completely
different. Being from Illinois, I will take mud over dust any day, and this day was full of mud. The club guys
did a great job of re-routing the original course after the main creek swelled up to about 5 feet deep. I was
impressed with the amount of tight single track mixed in with a few high-speed sections.
The rocks were as sharp-edged as ever, but the mud kind of softened things up so I didn't feel too beat up
after the first lap. I felt like I was on pace for 4 laps, although I had absolutely no way of knowing that since
my wristwatch was covered with about 25 layers of mud. One of the rock "sections" (you could call the
whole loop a rock section) was just gnarly, with outcroppings of the most horrifyingly jagged boulders
sticking up from the ground. Of course they were immovable and the only way to get through was to weave
in and around them and pray for minimal pipe damage. On the second lap a few more alternate paths
developed (thanks, A riders) in the narrow, muddy sections. For a few brief moments I actually felt as if I
was back in Illinois riding the ruts like old times. But then I was brought back to reality by the massive need
to pee. They say hydration is key before the race, but I think I'd rather dehydrate than have to go so bad that I
actually considered doing it in my pants. Heck, it was muddy and wet, who would know?
On lap 3, things went from bad to worse. A Number 2 alert came on like Mt. St. Helens, circa 1980.
Although way worse than a pee-pee problem, there was one added side benefit: I really didn't want to sit
down...ever. I can see it now, "The new training method proven by KaTooMer...half a bottle of Colon Blow in
the morning and a couple of hours of riding in the afternoon. Throw away that seat--you won't need it
anymore!!" Anyway, I finished my third lap and cruised to what I thought was the finish at the end of lap 4.
Scanned the board, searched for the Open B class, but wait a minute...every other B class was done except
Open B. Lord have mercy on my large intestine, I was going to have to do another lap.
As I began lap 5, I started thinking, and for me that's a dangerous thing while I'm trying to go fast (actually, I
mean less slow). I must have passed through the main check about 30 seconds before my 2 hours was
up, so what could be the odds of someone else in my class coming in after me but prior to the two-hour
mark? That's when I decided I would stop and take care of some business. You do NOT want to know
what happened next, after I parked the bike and bolted for a dense area of the woods out of sight from the
trail. So as I was walking back to my bike and feeling a couple pounds lighter, a sweep rider came around
and asked me if I wanted to continue, and of course I said no friggin' way. He gave me directions back to
the staging area where Matt was already changed and loaded up. On the way back I came across a guy on
a Kawasaki who had dumped his bike in the creek and had it upside down, trying to drain the water from
the engine. Been there, buddy.
Naturally I wrongly assumed that nobody could have checked in after me at the end of lap 4. A guy behind
me squeaked in about 15 seconds before the end of our race. So instead of a possible 4th place finish, I
ended up 5th. Once again, Matt and I finished one place apart, with him in 6th place. We talked with Steve
Leivan for a while after the race, who along with his whole family spent many days preparing the course (as
they do most years at Lebanon). They really earn their "work average" points and should be commended
for re-routing the course after heavy rain and still keeping it challenging and fun.
March 11, 2001
Belleville, Illinois
1st of 2 in Open B
Nice weather plus a dry course equals two hours of pure joy. I got to the club early and walked the entire
4.5-mile course, noticing some interesting changes to the course layout. On the southeast corner of the
club grounds, the BET guys had hand-dug some nice off-camber trails around one of the lakes. In one
spot, there were actually two levels of trails running parallel, one just above lake-level and another higher
up on the steep hill. Pretty cool, technical stuff. Another highlight of the course was the "levee" built through
the middle of a lake. The trail dropped about 30 feet straight down, went across the lake, and then came
straight up on the other side. A longer, less steep route was available up the other side and during the ATV
race we watched for awhile as all but a couple fast guys took the easy way up the hill. They also laid out a
grass track on the north side, parallel to the highway. So there was enough tight stuff to make the course
challenging and some fast trails to make the ride fun. Good job, BET.
Matt and I were the only guys who showed up to race the Open B class and our starting row was combined
with a 4-stroke class. One of the guys on our line was on an old Honda XR (or could have been an XL) that
was a relic from the 1980's. Later in the race we would see that Honda hanging off the side of the levee
going through the lake...not sure if he didn't make it up the other side or had problems going down the hill.
On the start, we went about 100 feet to a 90-degree lefthander that had a double jump (motocross track)
which I didn't even attempt to double. After the double was a 180-degree turn that came fast and I smacked
Matt's rear wheel trying to slow down, just about taking myself out early. I followed him for awhile until he
got off the course in an area where the ATV's had passed through but on a slightly different path. Naturally I
knew exactly where to go because I [am anal and] walked the course beforehand and left the suckas
behind, eating my dust. Hey, who inserted those brackets? Anyway, I didn't see Matt again until near the
end of the race when I caught him just before the grass track. I didn't see the lap times afterward but can
only assume that I was lapping him, but usually we're very close in speed, so I don't know what happened.
We raced hard on the grass track, which was fun. But by that time the silicon seal on my exhaust head had
disintegrated, meaning bottom end power was weak and the darned thing was loud. Probably time to
replace that bent pipe...CHA-ching. I was revving the thing so hard that on the last lap I had to switch the
gas tank to reserve after it started bogging.
Bottom line, this was a fun race, I got the win, and took home an Olympic-style gold medal.
